Calla's Birth Story

I wrote this in a rush on my phone, so please be forgiving as you read it. Thanks.

First, a confession: Once upon a time, I was terrified of the idea of giving birth. This terror was so severe that I even felt a bit uncomfortable being around pregnant women. I was so full of fear, I thought I would never have any children of my own, even though I have a special connection with children, and a lot of love for them. Why I felt such hopeless fear is a topic in itself, and still a bit of a mystery to me, so now is not the time to explore that question. 

One thing is for certain, though.  I wish I had heard just one birth story like mine when I was forming my initial impressions about childbirth.

I eventually decided I wanted to become a mother. And, after randomly discovering that the length of time between Bill's date of birth and my own happens to be equivalent the human gestation period, I had this little superstitious epiphany that he and I were meant to create a baby together. And so, a few weeks after Bill's birthday, I discovered that I was pregnant! I'm sure that the announcement of my pregnancy was the best Valentine's Day gift I will ever be able to give Bill.  

About three weeks before Calla's October 13 due date, during a prenatal visit, Dr. Anderson announced, "Calla will probably be born before the end of this week." She repeated this statement at the next two prenatal visits!  Her "any day now" predictions were based on her estimate of Calla's size, position in my pelvis, etc.  In fact, prior to going into labor, I was 75% effaced, 3 cm dilated, and Calla was already at 1+ station.  I was very lucky to already have completed a bit of the work of labor without even experiencing labor yet.  And I was also very lucky that I still felt great.  I really had a charmed pregnancy, with no major complaints (other than nausea during the first and second trimester) right up until the end.  

And the end began with early labor mid-morning on October 10, 2008.  I wasn't sure I was in labor, but I was experiencing some bleeding.  I had the tiniest contractions, which were irregular and felt no different from the painless Braxton-Hicks contractions I had experienced frequently throughout my pregnancy.  Bill decided to come home, just in case early labor had begun.

In spite of not being certain if I was in labor or not, I felt very calm and unworried.  Bill and I made brownies and cookies to share with the hospital staff.  I kept in touch with my doula, Melissa, throughout the afternoon via phone.  She reminded me to eat well and get plenty of rest.  And so I lounged a bit, Bill cooked a very hearty meal we enjoyed, then we went to bed.  

Soon enough, around 8pm, the contractions had intensified enough that I knew the baby was coming that night.  Bill was very gentle and loving as he helped me relax through the contractions.  He kept in touch with Melissa by phone and timed my contractions.  When they seemed to be about four minutes apart, we asked her to come over.  When she arrived, I was completely effaced and dilated to about  8 cm!  I was very pleased to hear that because while the contractions were intense and demanded my attention, they were not painful, I knew then for sure that I was going to be able to handle the contractions.  I hadn't even used many of Hypnobabies techniques yet, out of curiousity about how contractions would feel.  I didn't want to dull the experience if it wasn't necessary.

Melissa went to the front of the house, leaving Bill and I to continue in bed.  Around midnight I felt nauseated.  As I was vomiting, I felt a tiny gush in my underwear.  Had my water broke?  There wasn't much fluid, maybe it was from my bladder?  Again, there was that uncertainty that continued to surface throughout the day.  Using her PH-paper thingie, Melissa was able to determine that it was in fact amniotic fluid in my undies.  She explained that the bag of water had probably resealed itself.  She checked me and discovered that I was completely dilated.  It was nearly babytime, and that meant a car ride to the hospital.  Although I was reluctant to leave my quiet calm house for the hospital, I was in enough of a hurry that we left without the treats for the nurses.  Oops!

I listened to some hypnobabies scripts on the way to the hospital.  I remember feeling very focused.  We arrived at the hospital around 1 am on October 11.  I guess I was in transition.   

Things got a bit dramatic at the hospital for a while, which made it not so easy to focus on staying calm and relaxed!  Unfortunately, there was no copy of my prenatal records at the hospital! This made the little interview they do before they let you get started having a baby (it's a bit ridiculous, I have to say) last a LOT longer, since they didn't have any information about me.  It's never fun filling out forms, particularly when you are having contractions!

I was patient.  I was calm.  But it took effort!  Eventually I was in a room with one nurse asking me questions for the interview.  These questions get ridiculous.  Example:  "Were you ever sexually abused as an infant, toddler, or child?" So as I was doing my best to quickly answer these baffling questions so I could push out my baby, I noticed another nurse coming at me with an IV.  That's when I realized they didn't have my birth plan!   I asked them to please get a copy of my birth plan from Bill or Melissa.  This is when the nurses got into a spat.  If only I had remembered those brownies!  

Mean Nurse didn't want them in the room until she finished the ridiculous interview.  Nice Nurse wanted the birth plan and to let them come in the room.  It was a bit surreal.  I played peacemaker and everything eventually got sorted out.  I later learned that Nice Nurse had to tattle on Mean Nurse to really get it sorted out.  I could have done without all that drama, but I didn't let it ruin the experience. 

So after the interview and cat fight, I was very happy to be reunited with Bill and Melissa.  The doctor on-call, examined me.  We decided to break (re-break) my water.  While she did that, Melissa phoned my doctor, who arrived within minutes.  I was very pleased to see her there and know that this woman who respected and supported my birthing preferences was going to be there to help me give birth.

It wasn't very long after that until I started pushing.  This was the part I had always feared the most, but it did not hurt!  Go figure.  It was, however, a lot of work.  It required so much effort.    After about twenty-five minutes (Bill's estimate), I was told "Look at your baby!  You can see her head!" I tried to see, but my belly was too big!  One more push and Calla Sophia was born at 3:58 am on October 11.  My little flower.  My early birthday gift.  

We were elated.  Her father was crying tears of joy and, for my part, I knew sheer bliss.

She weighed 8 lbs 7.5 oz, she was 20.5 inches long, and her head was 14.5 inches in circumference.  I did not require a single stitch after her gentle, natural, unmedicated birth.

The most treasured moment of my entire life was looking into her eyes for the first time.  They were so beautiful, calm, and wise, yet full of quiet wonder.      

Happy birthday, Calla.  You are so loved.