OMG OMG OMG!

Can you keep a secret?

Well, I don't know if I can trust you to keep this big secret, so I'm going to wait to post this until later this week. I'm writing on February 11, 2008 (Monday).

Look! Look!

Wow!
Let me just say, "I knew it!" I knew it all along, but I couldn't be 100% certain. The apparent false negative really confused/concerned me last week, but all's well that ends well.

In spite of the negative HPT, I noticed the following mild symptoms:

• Swollen chest, growing sore


• Weepiness


• Irritability


• Increased appetite


• Increased urination


• Heightened sense of smell


• Unusual sensations in lower abdomen, similar to menstrual cramps, yet different


• Absence of period

So, after a week of these symptoms each continuing to grow stronger, I re-tested. I knew it had to be positive this time, otherwise what could explain these symptoms? I mean it's not uncommon for me to be late, but it's certainly not common, either.

I've had no morning sickness (so far)! Could I be lucky enough to avoid morning sickness all together? My doctor advised me to start the pre-natal vitamins before even trying to conceive, and she mentioned that doing so might help reduce morning sickness after conception. Maybe she was right? Maybe I'll start puking tomorrow, who knows? It was the one thing that kept me from being 100% certain I was pregnant after the negative HPT. I kept thinking, if I had nausea, I'd know for sure.

Last night, I stopped drinking around 7 pm, because I didn't want my urine to be too diluted. I was so careful with the test this morning. Instead of peeing directly onto the stick, I peed into a disposible cup. Then I dipped the stick into the urine, carefully counting off five seconds (one thousand one... one thousand two...). The test is supposed to take about two minutes, but it was just a few (long) seconds until I could see a faint vertical line. I felt so very lucky and relieved and, even though "I knew it", I was also shocked. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was euphoric. I still am, really.

I don't want to tell Bill until Valentine's Day (that's why I'm waiting to post this), but how can I keep such good news to myself for three days??? If you're reading this before February 14, then you'll know I couldn't wait!

Obviously, I couldn't wait! I gave him his Valentine's Day gift a day early (a book on pregnancy for fathers-to-be). More on his thrilled reaction later.

Not Positively Negative

But only a few days late (CD 32), so no need to start re-painting the spare bedroom.

Being Positive When You're Negative

How's it done?

I took a home pregnancy test today, which is the day my period is due to begin, in the dark (because last night's tornados knocked out the electricity), and the results were negative. It's disappointing news, but I am keeping my chin up.

Forgetfulness During Pregnancy

Interesting Pregnancy-related News. I'll try to remember to POAS (pee on a stick) tomorrow morning. Cross your fingers!

Pregnancy 'does cause memory loss'
Psychologists reveal 'baby brain' is not a myth and new mothers suffer forgetfulness for years
Denis Campbell, health correspondent
The Observer,

This article appeared in the Observer on Sunday February 03 2008 on p21 of the News section.

Mothers-to-be have long complained about forgetting the simplest things as soon as they fall pregnant, jokingly blaming their 'preg head' or 'baby brain'. Now a major study has found that many women expecting a child do in fact suffer considerable memory loss, which continues even after birth.
Julie Henry, a psychologist at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, who conducted the research, said: 'Pregnant women are significantly impaired on some, but not all, measures of memory. The memory deficits are smaller than the deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds and 80-year-olds, but are probably close to the modest deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds with healthy 60-year-olds.'
Henry and Peter Rendell, a memory researcher at the Australian Catholic University in Melbourne, reached their conclusion after examining the memory performance of 412 pregnant women, 272 mothers and 386 non-pregnant females. Pregnant women experienced the worst problems in memory tasks which were more challenging, the authors said in the report published in the Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology
'Regular, well-practised memory tasks are unlikely to be affected, such as remembering phone numbers of friends and family members,' said Henry. 'However, the ability to perform more novel memory tasks, such as having to remember new phone numbers or people's names, or recalling five or six digits for a short period of time, may be affected.'
The authors admit that, while they believe the syndrome definitely exists, they cannot be sure why physiologically it occurs. 'Our own suspicion is that lifestyle may be a relevant factor to consider; for example the increased disruption and dislocation of pregnancy, busyness and the lack of routine associated with this period,' said Henry. 'Sleep deprivation is also going to be a relevant factor post-pregnancy that could affect cognitive performance.'
But some academics have dismissed 'maternal amnesia' as a myth. Dr Ros Crawley, who led a team of researchers from Sunderland University in 2003, suggested that negative mood swings were causing the apparent problem, or that the reason could be 'cultural expectations of impairments which make women more aware of forgetting things and attributing such mistakes to their pregnancy'.
However, Carole Mitchell, a mother-of-two, who edits a National Childbirth Trust newsletter in Surrey, said: 'My memory began suffering five years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, Erin. I think that for some women it starts during your first pregnancy because you're stressed about it and you get bogged down with all the preparations. Then, once you've got a child or children, you're bound to forget things because you're always on duty, doing things and attending to your kids.'

Am I Pollinated Yet?

Look at my horoscope from Rob Brezsny:

Libra Horoscope for week of January 31, 2008
The planet's biggest annual orgy of pollination is about to take place. A million beehives from all over America and Australia are on trucks headed to a 600,000-acre patch of almond orchards in California's Central Valley. For the next three weeks or so, 40 billion bees will be in service to almond flowers as they facilitate the mixing of male and female reproductive materials. This scene could rightly serve as your metaphor of the week, Libra. You, too, are primed for a tremendous pollination event -- a time of intense mingling in service to fertility.



I doubt I'm supposed to take this literally, but still... neat! My husband's nick name, by the way, is Crazy-Bee.

Now back to waiting another week.

TTC 2WW... WTF?

Turn to the Internet to learn more about conception and pregnancy, and you're likely to encounter a lot of nearly indecipherable abbreviations.

Many of them seem reasonable enough, but some are downright goofy.

ATAS - Abbreviations That Are Stupid:

AF - Aunt Flo(w). This means getting your period. Are we still in seventh grade, people?
DH - Dear Husband. My husband is a dear, I suppose, but I don't typically refer to him as such. Certainly not often enough to abbreviate it!
BBs - "Boobs" Oh a cute little abbreviation for my least favorite term used to refer to breasts (why not TTs, anyone?).
BD - Baby Dance. This means having sex. Baby Dance? That's a creepy euphemism if I've ever heard one.
DP - Dancing Partner. DP means something slightly different to me, and that's all I have to say on the matter.

ATEMCS - Abbreviations That Explain My Current Status

TTC - Trying To Conceive.
2WW - Two Week Wait. This is waiting to see if your "BD" efforts have resulted in a pregnancy.

And, of course, I'm having all sorts of psychosomatic early pregnancy symptoms! I am seriously sleepy for no good reason lately. I have some other symptoms, as well, but these are also the same symptoms of an impending period. Might as well not draw any conclusions so early. I don't have a deadline to get pregnant or anything, but I can't help but feel like I want to hurry up and get there.

And, of course, when I have used POAS (pee on a stick) OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) this month I keep getting BFNs (big, fat negatives), so I am not even sure if I ovulated or not. I did get BFPs (big, fat positives on OPKs in past months when I was tracking my cycle but not TTC, so I know I can ovulate. Anyway, I just keep on BDing everyday, just in case, and because it's a great pastime in its own right.

Hmm the ATAS are really bothering me, so I may have to refrain from using them. Let's hope that the TTC days are brief, and I can move on to see what the Parenting realm of the Internet has to offer.

Pre-Conception

The new year has begun at last, so I have only a few weeks until my husband and I start trying to conceive. I'm trying to avoid stressing about it all because I don't want to disrupt my cycle or do anything to minimize my chances of getting knocked up.

I'm also trying to enjoy some of the things I'll be putting aside for a year or so in just a few weeks. (That's code for "I'm hitting the hooch," mainly wine in the evenings.) I guess there are other things I'll be giving up soon, too. I think there are some concerns about eating sushi. Lots of no-no's for the pregnant and nursing woman, actually. I'll have to familiarize myself with them all soon.

I guess I'll have more to say about it all when there actually is more to say about it all.